A quick self-reflection
I’ve gone quiet again;
The walls are closing in;
I am disgusting;
I am a deviant that no one can possibly love;
I can’t even love myself;
The only way out … is escape;
Escape from life;
Escape from this body;
Escape from this mind …
AND THEN I WOKE UP.
Still in this mind;
I could not even do this right …
November 2018 was my ultimate low point. And April 2019 I would contemplate it again, except, life intervened as it so often does. And instead of taking a razor to my throat … something snapped … and I shaved my legs instead. And my life completely changed.
The last few months has been a rollercoaster 🎢 but I would not change it for anything. Finally I can be the person I’ve always been. Finally I can express myself. Finally I can slowly start to love myself.
I did not want to talk or think about my low point. But my initial attempt to avoid @alexis_atlast post failed, and I forced myself to read it. And suddenly found myself back there.
Back there; who I was; who I tried to be; and failed. And I’m glad I’m still here. Glad for my next chapter. Scared! But glad!