I don’t often talk about my family. I like keeping them to myself like some highly classified secret 🤐
Truth is, a year ago the biggest thing on my mind was me, myself and I. My journey, my issues, my future, my life. Which in itself was a major departure from my previous life where I tried to hide who I was and put attention on others. In a way I feel guilty about being so self-absorbed. Especially now.
At a time when I’m just beginning to live my life as myself, I’m reminded about the struggles around me. Case in point, my mom. Here is a woman who taught me my whole life to be strong and fight for what you deserve. She never backed down from life’s challenges. And 2 years ago when she got diagnosed with cancer, she took life by the horns and the family dubbed her the IRON MATRON (being a nursing matron). After chemo and surgery she went into remission and we all rejoiced. Another win for the iron matron.
Unfortunately, after a year in remission, it’s back. And this time the chemo is much stronger. I stress about mom’s mental state. I stress about how aggressive the treatment is this time. I stress and wrestle with thoughts that she isn’t as strong or confident as she was the first time. But ultimately I stress about losing a woman who has become my template of womanhood. My template of strength. My template of kindness. I stress about losing a woman I’ve hardly gotten to know as a daughter.
So today I’m sending a prayer into the universe. May whomever holds the strings of life, or writes the numbers in the register, please look inside her heart of hearts and grant her hearts biggest desire. Whatever that may be.
Love you mom ❤️ stay strong
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